I don't know why I only ever get in front of this screen with the purpose of writing when life seems confusing.

I guess its just the act of putting it down, releasing it from my mind which truthfully keeps me up at night and makes me crazy. I suppose I hope that by typing it out I can make my head and heart settle.

There is nothing WRONG in my life, who knows, maybe that is why I am unsettled. I have a job I love, that allows me plenty of creativity and a chance to be around people - family life is good, all is well, but yet inside me, I feel like a storm is definitely brewing.

My boys are growing up. I think that has hit me really hard this summer. With one going into highschool, and the other into grade seven, the reality that my grip on them is slipping, that the days of them needing me to hold them in my lap and make them feel better are gone, I feel sad.

I am so happy for them for all of the exciting adventures ahead, and I am so proud of the little men I have raised, but the mama bear in me, well she is not having such an easy time of it.

And, in typical Julie fashion, the realization of them becoming men, reminds me of my own age, and of all the things in my life that I set aside so that I could be mom first and foremost. It leaves me taking a good hard look at myself, and not necessarily liking what I see.

So, I resolve to myself that its time to change - that there is really no reason in the world for me not to be the person I always felt I was meant to, that the excuses are running out and there is no one else to hide behind.

Problem is, I feel like underneath it all there is the ball of emotions that I have buried and stuffed down, and now I feel like they are all coming to the surface at once and I'm not sure how to deal with them. When you carry something for so long that you can't remember why or how you picked it up in the first place it is physically and emotionally crippling to try to put it down.

But the freedom is there - I can feel it. I think it scares me really...the not knowing what will happen when I finally break free of these chains that have held me down for so long. Afraid I will get hurt, afraid I will hurt someone else, unsure of who I am, and who I am supposed to be.

I suppose that is the caveat of change, that we just really never know, we only know that its time...and that we cannot run from change, it always finds us - whether we think we are ready not.

So, my little sister introduced me to the new Rachael Ray cookbook "Look and Cook". I loved it so much, that I bought it....twice!

Ha, the first time I gave it to my mom for mother's day, since she seemed to be enjoying all the lovely pictures too ;)

So, anyway, as I try some of the recipes I will review them and post them here for you.

This, as usual is tweaked by Julie (and Epicure)

Souvlaki

4 or 5 chicken breasts
olive oil
lemon juice
VE Souvlaki seasoning
VE Greek seasoning
Sea Salt and Pepper

I mixed this all together - I never measure, just till it looks well coated ;)

I marinated it over night, which I recommend.

Then as my youngest son put the chicken on little skewers, I boiled up about two cups of orzo pasta, and made the spinach sauce.



To do this, I sauteed about 1/2 cup of onions in about 2 tablespoons of olive oil, for about six minutes.



Then I added some fresh spinach I had pureed in my vitamix. I also added a few sprigs of fresh dill, just cuz that's how I roll ;) then I added about half a cup of chicken stock. (I would recommend using a low sodium one)

This part was not so appetizing ;)



After the orzo was done (oh and my souvlaki is at this point on the grill) I added it to the spinach sauce, and then melted in about 1/4 cup of fresh feta, and another cup of spinach leaves.

Then, served the souvlaki on top of the orzo concoction. It was VERY good. Even the boys ate it, minus the onions (they picked that out, fussy buggers ;))






For those of you who need a more detailed recipe (since this would be a pain to print) here is
Rachel's recipe.

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Please take a moment to read about some of the testimonials I have posted on my website.


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Have you ever had this soup at East Side Mario's? It is a long time favorite of mine, but as I don't get out to restaurants very often, I thought I would recreate it at home. I have been making this recipe for months now, and I LOVE it. It freezes well, so I always make a big batch and use smaller batches for lunches for myself and my husband.

Italian Wedding Soup - my recipe.

As Julie recipes go, this is very dependent on your own tastes. I don't measure my broth so this is just a "guestimate" add more or less depending on how you like your soup.

First thing I do is fill a LARGE stockpot 1/3 full with water. Here is what my stockpot looks like to give you an idea.



Then, I add my chicken stock. I use Epicure chicken stock because I think it has amazing flavour and very little sodium. In this case I used about 1/8 cup.



Then I added about 1 cup of chopped carrots, I use my vitamix for this and just whirl up my carrots, onions and some stock. Note: After I have used the epicure chicken stock, I also use No name liquid chicken stock to turn the remainder of my water into stock. I add this throughout the soup making process until I get the flavour I want. Add to the stock and bring to a rapid boil.



Then its time to make the meatballs! I put my pound of ground chicken into a bowl, and add about a cup of breadcrumbs. I always make my own, and in this case I had half a pita sitting around so that was what I used. I also use about 1 tbsp of Epicure Pesto seasoning for this. It flavours the meatballs amazingly! Add an egg, mix well, and that is your meatball mix :)



Then I use my handy dandy meatballer (from pampered chef, yes, I support a lot of home businesses ;)) to drop the mix into the boiling soup on the stove.



Then I add 1 bag of spinach, and more stock to taste and let it simmer for an hour or so.



It all bubbles happily away on the stove :)





Then about an hour before I plan to serve I add about 1- 1.5 cups of pasta. I use the one pictured below.



Then serve with some nice garlic bread or breadsticks and enjoy!!!

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This Cinch testimonial is very dear to my heart. My very good friend Tasha and I are fortunate enough to share our lives in many ways. Friends to begin with, I began working for her about two years ago as a contractor. She joined Shaklee with me shortly after I did, less than six months ago.

Tasha is an inspiration to me in so many ways, but a few things that have always stuck out to me is her drive to succeed in all things, and her compassion for others and love of her family. So naturally Shaklee was a great fit for her!

Tasha and I also started Cinch together around the same time, with the small difference that she actually stuck to it over the holidays and I didn't. I am however back on track now!

Here are her amazing before and after shots!