I know it has been a really long time since my fingers have graced the keys in order to share with you the goings on of my life.
I get distracted. I suppose that happens to all of us to a degree.
You can imagine my surprise this early morning when I heard a still small voice breath into my ear and remind me that I am too distracted.
I found faith at the age of fifteen in an anglican church. I have since changed denominations many times, and my faith has always remained the same, and yet, traditions have changed. God to me is not about what we do, or how we worship in service to Him, but its all about the personal relationship. But...
I can remember the beauty of the cross in that little Anglican church. I remember the reverence I felt when I would drink from the silver chalice during communion. The pride I felt when I would robe up as a server of my Christ. I remember the feeling of standing together with fellow believers and speaking the common prayers that were traditional for a service. I remember the beautiful rich fabrics that we would change on the altar and the gorgeous banners we hung from the various ends of the church. I remember how the sun came through the beautiful stained glass windows and gave me a sense of the divine.
I used to clean that church on the weekends, and had plenty of time there alone. I found Jesus everywhere within that tiny church sanctuary and loved the safety I felt within its walls.
One of the traditions we observed in the Anglican denomination was Lent. I have since been in some churches that do, and some that don't, but it has been years since I gave it a second thought.
So again, in the early hours of my morning, I felt God tell me that Lent was upon me and that he wanted me to surrender something to him. Seeing as I haven't been really hearing much at all lately, this was a start and so I gave it my full attention. So I started rhyming off all of the standards....
Ok God, um, junk food?? Chocolate specifically? How about laundry? hehe, ok so maybe not. Well...I started to sweat a little bit at this point, um...my computer God, is that it??
I paused. Reminding myself to breath. Gah. Nothing....Uh, my computer AND my TV? No. Phew....ok, so THATS good.
and then I heard it....clear as day (and thats saying something) your lazy my daughter. Its not that I mind the computer, or the tv, or the junk food, or the chocolate, or any of it. What I mind is that you put it all before the other things you should be doing.
Now, this is not my any means a new idea. I have known it forever. And, I have tried a million times to get it under control. I think all my struggles seem to stem from it. So...in an odd and bizarre offering to God for lent, I am giving up laziness. Ok, so this one is going to be tough. But since when do I do anything that is remotely normal anyway.
Thankfully, I have this still small voice that whispers to me when I know I am purposely being lazy and I am counting on him (and my husband and kids) to remind me when I am in fact being lazy.
So, I am signing OFF the computer now, and going to go help my boys get ready for school.