Still sick....

Still really sick.

Wish it would end, wish I could sleep....

Made it into work all week, but probably against better judgement gonna try to see a doctor today, or possibly go to emerge tonight.

Think it might be worse than I was letting on.


Sick - Malade

Man my house is just a mecca of illness.

I myself have the chest cold from hell, my youngest son is pretty much equally matched. My oldest has pink eye, and my husband is coming in a close third to holding the rank of the sickest family member.

I HATE it when we are sick. Eveyone is miserable, cranky....tempers are flaring. Man, it is just not a nice environment.

We found out some of our good friends are moving back home to southern Ontario. This is becoming a common occurrence.

On one hand, I am happy for them, on the other I am sad that they are leaving.

On my foot, LOL, I am jealous that they are going home to their family....


The job is going well, I still really enjoy it. I get tested by the parents and the staff on a regular basis but I am adapting and for the most part I think I am passing. :)

I will blog about things more interesting when the snot stops oozing out of every orifice's of my being.

I am so tired today.

My eyes are all puffy and sore, and my cough is worse by the day. I really need to get that looked at I think. (It all started from my quick jaunt with TKD that I am no longer joining)

I had a very emotional night last night, that left me with tons of things to think about and reflect on. Don't you hate that? That lying in bed trying to sleep because you are so worn down with fatigue both pysically and emotionally but you just cannot fall? Sigh, no rest for the weary they say.

I met with a bunch of people who share some of my struggles last night. Heard their stories, felt their pain, saw some hope, worried about what it all meant, felt that pull of confusion and dissillusionment. It was so refreshing to sit there among those that were not afraid to be real. It broke my heart to hear their stories, it healed it to know I was not alone.

I will leave you with this, something that meant an awful lot to me last night.


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

Been busy :)

Wow, barely online all week.

(that is a big change for me)

Got a job!

Started off the beginning of the week with 20 hours, and got a promotion (that I had to apply for) to 30 hours on my fourth day.

What a difference it has made in my life.

First of all, I am tired. Grin. But a good kind of tired.

I can't really put details of my job up here, because of confidentiality and such, but it is wonderful and I feel that I am making a real difference, which for me gives me such a sense of meaning and direction.

Anyway, I hope to post more later, but since I am really tired, I think I shall try to catch some needed zzzz's.


My relationship with my plants...

Some people think it is strange to talk to your plants, or to have a "relationship" with them at all. I however, on the other hand, love my plants and treat them as thought they are indeed part of my family.

Granted, this could be partially do to the fact that I live with four males (hubby, sons, and dog)and feel the need to even out the playing field by having female plants. (wink)

I am not sure what it is exactly, but seeing a plant grow and change, under my direction is a huge mood lifter for me.

I recently added a new member to my flora family. Hibby :)

Now see, many years ago in my old home town I had another hibby, A double bloom, red hibiscus that was well over 6 feet tall. She came to us because she was too big to move out of the house that she had grown up in.

I promised to care for her, and that I did. I loved that plant. She watched my children grow, listened to my silly stories and heard my endless singing. She never complained.

She would bloom for me constantly and I would praise her.

When we moved from that house and I found her a home in the Floral store I was working in, people offered me hundreds of dollars for her, but she was just not for sale.

I learned in a tragic way that not everyone loves their plants as I do. I gave her to the owner of the store when the store shut down. Poor hibby ran around in the back of her truck for over a week and eventually died.

It broke my heart.

Saturday I found another one. Identical, a red, double bloom tree hibiscus. I am happy, and you know what, today, she bloomed....

my wierdness factor...

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

The weekend

Well the fam went camping.

We packed up the five of us (including the dog) and headed to Grand Beach for the long weekend.

We had a great time. I took some healing time for myself, and a few walks (this was kind of a rough weekend for me), but all in all it was highly enjoyable.

I love looking into people's sites. There is just something so amazing about community, I just love it.

I realized something about myself out there....I am the type that needs community. I crave it. I am not a loner. (Even though I tend to be alone a lot)

I love surrounding myself with people, the feeling of "belonging" of knowing there is someone there. This was one of things I loved (and still do quite frankly) about the gay community. They sure knew how to help each other up. They (often forced by being outcasts) have banded together, to create a comfy, non-judgmental and relaxing community.

I do not find the same kind of community in my church. I wonder at this sometimes.

Now, I am not saying that my church is unfriendly, not at all....In fact I think it is one of the most friendly churches in my town, however, I wonder at the level of community.

We came home from our camping trip to a L1 Tornado. We were not supposed to come home until the day after but by wonderful coincidence we came home the night before. Nothing looked amiss, I was just not feeling too well, so we had come home to rent a movie. By 2am the winds were gusting at over 100 km per hour. Trees were ripped from the ground, planes turned over, damage was done.

Community was found among the streets of my little town. People helping to cut down trees, pick up garbage, huddle together to help get through the shock of it all.

Stories of people's lives, and why certain trees were planted were shared, neighbor's never seen became friends that day.

Why is it that we never reach out until tradgedy occurs?

Why are there so many who sit alone in there house lonely, afraid, in such need of community, friendship, and companionship?

Sigh, it is such a quandary to me.

Well, I suppose a fire starts with a single ember and perhaps, I for one, need to learn to ask for help. To reach out instead of complaining about not being reached.

I had my neighbor over for coffee today....A start atleast.

Till later,