I have been hesitant to write as much lately. Almost as if I am afraid that if I put it down on the screen, it will somehow jinx it.

Silliness I know.

My heart is changing....Growing....Believing again.

I think those who know me well see it, feel it. I was joking around to my husband last night that I feel as though I was abducted by aliens. LOL....

I cannot fathom the changes that have come for me, which is why I credit God for the steadiness in my heart.

I am still struggling, I suppose we all struggle, the difference today is I am not trying to tackle it to the ground by myself and failing.

I think My husband is changing in all of this as well, he may have done it before and I never noticed it, but he is trying so hard to be patient and loving. The small little things he is doing carry me through the day, and truthfully, by the end of the day, all I want to do is snuggle up with him on the couch...

I am taking such joy in the tiny things I never even realized I was missing.....the brush of his arm on my leg as we sleep, the sleepy smile on his face when he wakes up, his hand on my back when I am doing dishes, his offer to help me with whatever I am doing.

We are re-learning each other.

Starting over.

..........and you know what?..............

I can't wait.

- Julie