I have realized that I get very "unbalanced" when I lose my self expression. Life has been kind of crazy lately and so I have not spent the time to write, reflect...

I have decided this is just not a good idea. I miss the way it feels when my hands glide over the keys of my keyboard, and my thoughts become concrete. It is the only time that I face a lot of things. The only time that I can form my thoughts into solid ideas, and admit that I am not always as well put together as I let on.

I think that is why when my life is hell, the writing comes easier. It just pours out of me, because I have no where left to put it.

Life as it is now, with its twists and turns is ever changing, and I am ok with that. I am happy.

So, let me tell you about some of the twists that have me reflecting today.

First of all, God is changing lots of stuff in my life right now, and to be honest, sometimes I wonder why. I was fortunate enough to connect with an old friend recently, which was in essence a great thing, but- with that I also learned about some very hurtful and cruel things being spread around my home town, that made me sick to my stomach.

I just don't understand people. I mean I know its a small town and gossip flies, but I certainly did enough last year, that warrants rumors. Why couldn't they focus on the true stuff atleast?
I don't really care what people think of me, but when you drag my family into things - well....That is just the line for me. Here's hopin I do not run into these people anytime soon.

Its all Juvenile really- But even the little things can end up carrying on. I just wonder what the message in it is for me. Do I let it go, or do I confront it?

In other areas- making some new friends, which is a breath of fresh air. I have felt pretty lonely over the last bit, and I am thankful that there are opportunities of friendship in my path.

Speaking of friends, I am continually reminded how much I miss the ones that no longer live close by. My friends, my family...Sometimes that gets to be so hard to bear. I miss my little sister. I never ever thought in my life that she would be married and away from me, and I would see her only once a year.

I think sometimes it is easier to shut them out. All these that I love that are so far from me.....Easier to forget, then to spend time in the remembering and missing.

Well, hell, I went and did it, made it all sappy and sad again. (I promise I do not try to make it depressing)

On a good note, my good friend Chel is coming home soon. That is a super-uber happy thing!!!! Well for me at least. (sorry chel) I am incredibly selfish I know. I do promise to try to make it fun for you too (as much as I can, wink)

Well anyway, I think I have blogged my brain out sufficiently for today.

Julie Out.
(He he, always wanted to say that)