I have realized that I get very "unbalanced" when I lose my self expression. Life has been kind of crazy lately and so I have not spent the time to write, reflect...

I have decided this is just not a good idea. I miss the way it feels when my hands glide over the keys of my keyboard, and my thoughts become concrete. It is the only time that I face a lot of things. The only time that I can form my thoughts into solid ideas, and admit that I am not always as well put together as I let on.

I think that is why when my life is hell, the writing comes easier. It just pours out of me, because I have no where left to put it.

Life as it is now, with its twists and turns is ever changing, and I am ok with that. I am happy.

So, let me tell you about some of the twists that have me reflecting today.

First of all, God is changing lots of stuff in my life right now, and to be honest, sometimes I wonder why. I was fortunate enough to connect with an old friend recently, which was in essence a great thing, but- with that I also learned about some very hurtful and cruel things being spread around my home town, that made me sick to my stomach.

I just don't understand people. I mean I know its a small town and gossip flies, but I certainly did enough last year, that warrants rumors. Why couldn't they focus on the true stuff atleast?
I don't really care what people think of me, but when you drag my family into things - well....That is just the line for me. Here's hopin I do not run into these people anytime soon.

Its all Juvenile really- But even the little things can end up carrying on. I just wonder what the message in it is for me. Do I let it go, or do I confront it?

In other areas- making some new friends, which is a breath of fresh air. I have felt pretty lonely over the last bit, and I am thankful that there are opportunities of friendship in my path.

Speaking of friends, I am continually reminded how much I miss the ones that no longer live close by. My friends, my family...Sometimes that gets to be so hard to bear. I miss my little sister. I never ever thought in my life that she would be married and away from me, and I would see her only once a year.

I think sometimes it is easier to shut them out. All these that I love that are so far from me.....Easier to forget, then to spend time in the remembering and missing.

Well, hell, I went and did it, made it all sappy and sad again. (I promise I do not try to make it depressing)

On a good note, my good friend Chel is coming home soon. That is a super-uber happy thing!!!! Well for me at least. (sorry chel) I am incredibly selfish I know. I do promise to try to make it fun for you too (as much as I can, wink)

Well anyway, I think I have blogged my brain out sufficiently for today.

Julie Out.
(He he, always wanted to say that)


Anonymous said...

was told to comment - so here goes - lol.

I am sorry that you feel off balanced. I know that you being off balanced makes me off balanced as well. I want you to have all the good things that I can give you, but don't know what that is right now.

I am sorry that you miss your family, but believe that we are here for a reason, a purpose. We just have to identify what that purpose is.

All I really know for sure is this - I love you. With all I have in me. I will be with you through it all.

Dave out!

Newlyweds Blog said...

Hey friend,

Im miss you too! I check your blog for updates like twice a day! Ontario is not the same without you! But like your wise hubby says theres a purpose. As for Elliot Lake let me see how can I say this: If there are people there who still are living breathing and doing the same things that we were doing when we lived there a billion years ago... obviously they have the problem not you. They have no life thus must hear about other peoples lives! DOnt give them the credit to think that you care!

Love ya


gadgetgrl said...

I'm so glad I will be home in Winnipeg soon too! circumstances suck but - oh well.

The gossippy nasty people can go f**k themselves. They obviously don't have anything better to do. And they could probably use it. lol.

You need to keep writing( and updating the blog;-)) It is such a good outlet for you.