Well....

One week became two, and so on, so forth.

I have dreaded writing on here at all, as sometimes the sadness in my heart over what seems to be my special talent of never finishing anything was wearing on me pretty deeply.

Over the past 30 (something ;)) years, I have spent so much time looking at all the things I am not...All the things I need to change about myself so that I can be truly happy. Spent years trying to force myself to make new habits, develop skills that frustrate me, get my "act together" so to speak.

The past couple months have been a real growth experience for me. I recently returned to church and God after many, many, many months away. I truly did not think I would ever go back. But, I have discovered in life there are a few constants...and Thankfully, God is one of them.

I think I am (slowly) beginning to realize, that I was CREATED the way I am. For a reason. What a thought that is! I may be scattered sometimes, messy, cluttered, unable to do anything regimented, BUT....

I am creative beyond words, I SEE things others cannot. I can revel in the breeze on a hot day, and I can truly embrace the beauty that God creates everyday. I can empathize with others, and am generous and kind. I have STRENGTH. I have endurance. I am beautiful, even if its not always in the ways I want.

I am gifted with a voice that can sing and express my feelings in ways that most cannot. I can look through the lens of a camera and see beyond the snapshot. I can look at a plain photograph and see its potential. I can create meals that are different and daring, just because its ME. I am quirky, and witty, funny, and a bit eccentric at times. I take joy in the small things, and really my GREATEST frustration, the things that make me unhappy, are constantly trying to be what I am not.

And, so while I have fallen away from posting my gratitudes EVERY DAY....I will still post them when I get to it. Because ultimately, I am grateful. EVERY DAY. It just doesn't mean that I need to share that every day....

2 comments:

Lorena Ferguson said...

Ah Julie, how much alike we are. Miss you.

catharine said...
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