The birds chirping outside my window and the nice cool breeze gently flowing in. AAAAHHHH, so beautiful.

You know, as I was walking this morning with Wesley (this is a new thing, he gets me up every weekday morning for 6:30 so we can go for a walk, to which I try to convince him that its tooooo early, or I am sick, or I'm too tired, to which he proceeds to quietly sit on my bed and stare at me, until I give in and go walk with him, cute kid, I think he is aspiring to be Bob Harper, ok I digress forgive the spiderwebbing (you know a story within a story, oh boy here I go, what is this three branches now?) anyhooooo...

I was thinking about my Gratitude challenge this morning, and realizing that when I first started it, it was almost difficult to think of things, just that I found it harder to put myself constantly into that frame of mind. I don't know if it is easier now because I have really connected my Gratitude to my thankfulness to God, or if I am just becoming a less self centered person, but really either way its pretty great.

This was a FANTASTIC weekend. Let me be clear though, there were moments in which I would *not* have said were great, such as when I was literally crawling UNDER the pool while trying to manually pull the wrinkles out of the liner, while enjoying the creepy crawly bugs living in the sand using my arms as a possible new home. Not special.

Or, pumping water in from the lake to fill the pool and realizing THAT was not a great idea (and quickly working to filter out the ickies) or having an intense migraine, and poor dave with a pulled shoulder that made him so hard to take seriously because he couldn't quite look at you straight, hehe.

But, you know, if it hadn't been for those moments I wouldn't have had the chance to feel so grateful for when we managed to get those wrinkles out, and there wouldn't have been the moment when we threw our boys in the pool so they could vacuum out said ickies, and I wouldn't have had that moment of sheer bliss after the headache passed where I could remember just how amazing the gift of health is. And well, Dave's shoulder is still bugging him, but if it hadn't been for his head being offset when he was talking to me, he wouldn't have the chance to read here that every time I looked at him like that, I felt sad that he was hurt, but I also giggled a bit to myself and fell in love with him all over again....

We got to take the boys to a fantastic concert this weekend (the Newsboys) where I was inspired and awed, and as usual reminded how good our God is. I sang my heart out with my little man beside me (who knew all the words to some of the new songs) and truly was grateful the whole time for that moment.

We had a barbecue with my parents to celebrate David's birthday, sunshine, fantastic food, a crazy puppy and an old doggie trying to run from the over-enthusiastic puppy, lots of laughter, a few splashes in the pool (and my dad getting hit in the head by the long pool cleaner rod by Dave, that was pretty funny) a bunch of great memories, and cherished "grateful" moments for me to carry into my new week.

Im including a clip from the newsboys concert (I didn't have a video camera so this is actually from another concert, but I thought it was worth posting anyway) this was how they started it, I LOVED the mix of Black Eyed Peas "I gotta feeling, and Life is Beautiful"

I hope you enjoy your week, and that you have some things you are very grateful for today!

One week became two, and so on, so forth.

I have dreaded writing on here at all, as sometimes the sadness in my heart over what seems to be my special talent of never finishing anything was wearing on me pretty deeply.

Over the past 30 (something ;)) years, I have spent so much time looking at all the things I am not...All the things I need to change about myself so that I can be truly happy. Spent years trying to force myself to make new habits, develop skills that frustrate me, get my "act together" so to speak.

The past couple months have been a real growth experience for me. I recently returned to church and God after many, many, many months away. I truly did not think I would ever go back. But, I have discovered in life there are a few constants...and Thankfully, God is one of them.

I think I am (slowly) beginning to realize, that I was CREATED the way I am. For a reason. What a thought that is! I may be scattered sometimes, messy, cluttered, unable to do anything regimented, BUT....

I am creative beyond words, I SEE things others cannot. I can revel in the breeze on a hot day, and I can truly embrace the beauty that God creates everyday. I can empathize with others, and am generous and kind. I have STRENGTH. I have endurance. I am beautiful, even if its not always in the ways I want.

I am gifted with a voice that can sing and express my feelings in ways that most cannot. I can look through the lens of a camera and see beyond the snapshot. I can look at a plain photograph and see its potential. I can create meals that are different and daring, just because its ME. I am quirky, and witty, funny, and a bit eccentric at times. I take joy in the small things, and really my GREATEST frustration, the things that make me unhappy, are constantly trying to be what I am not.

And, so while I have fallen away from posting my gratitudes EVERY DAY....I will still post them when I get to it. Because ultimately, I am grateful. EVERY DAY. It just doesn't mean that I need to share that every day....

9/365- Thursday's with Mom

I love Thursday's! I spend the day with my mom. Sometimes we do the mundane things like grocery shopping, sometimes we do fun things like craft shows, or deal hunting at a favorite store, but ALWAYS it is a special day that I look forward to every week! This pic is our fav greek lunch we sometimes go to.

From Making Lemonade

10/365-Good Friday

I am thankful for this day...
Not just because my kids don't have to go to school, but because it is a reminder to me that no matter where I am in my life, no matter what struggles or awful things I am facing, someone else had to face much worse. So, today, I am grateful for the ultimate of sacrifices, and that SUNDAY is coming. This pic I did up last year but thought it deserved a replay :)

From Making Lemonade

11/365-Hail the conquering hero

The family went for a hike. It was a beautiful day, and I am glad to have spent it with them. I am grateful that I made it up and down this crazy "rock chasm of doom"

From Making Lemonade

12/365-Easter Sunday and great Worship

Today I am putting up a video instead of a picture (I know, I am a rebel) but I loved this song so much, and this is why I am grateful today.



13/365- Vita top Muffins

Love these things! Full of fiber and healthy stuff, but delicious with a smidgen of ice cream...like a low cal/fat brownie sundae :)

From Making Lemonade

14/365- Date night

Tuesday nights Dave takes me out to do groceries or any errands, and sometimes we just go have fun and watch a movie. I love that my boys are old enough to allow us this evening...

From Making Lemonade

15/365- Ice breaker Sours

As some of you know, I spend a lot of time on my computer- with work, and with my insane addiction to all things facebook/blogger. These little sugar free candies are constantly on my desk. Just be careful you don't eat the whole thing. Then you won't be quite as grateful, ask me how I know this...I dare you!

From Making Lemonade

16/356- Split pea soup with Ham

I'm grateful for the left over Easter ham bone from my wonderful dinner with my parents, and for the soup I get to eat! YUM!

From Making Lemonade

8/365- The "Paul Bunyan"

Ok, seriously. This is the world's best sandwich. Comes from a little store next to one of our best deli's here in Sudbury. Cara's is the store, and Torini's is the Deli.

Look at that thing! Seriously YUM! All made on homemade bread and homemade pickle!
I don't eat it all, I can barely tackle half!

From Making Lemonade

7/365-My fireplace and my painting.

This is one of my favorite areas in my home. A cozy fireplace that keeps me company when I am downstairs working on the computer, and a beautiful painting that reminds me of both my Grandfather, and my dad. My parents and my grandfather both had this picture, so now that I have one, it reminds me of them both, and I am so grateful for anything that makes me think of them ;)

From Making Lemonade

6/365- My *pink* cellphone.

Ok, I know that everyone and their brother has a cell phone. I also know that I sort of never really got into it, since I am so prone to forgetting them at home anyway. Although a few months ago, my sweet husband took me to get a new phone that was a little bit more user friendly. So, I got my LG dare, with a PINK case, that I love so much.

I love this phone! It has a calendar feature, I use it as an alarm clock, It has all the bells and whistles, and I can browse online, (which annoys the aforementioned husband since I have a slight facebook addiction)

Nevertheless, I am grateful for this little bit of technology that makes my life a little easier, and definitely a bit more pink ;)

Oh...P.S. Tasha if you are reading this, that is a 1.5 TB external hardrive in the background ;)

From Making Lemonade

Ahhh, busy weekend :)

Still did up my photos for my gratitude project though!


3/365- New decor for my living room, and the story behind it.

Well, my little sister took me out shopping for some stuff to "spruce" up my living room. I spent an obscene amount of money on a cushion, but just like she said, it has become the focal point of my room and I LOVE it. It is so ME :) So, grateful for the beautiful springy inspiration in my living room, and for the time I got to spend with my sister. Can't wait to see you again soon!







4/365-Mr Snoop Dog

My dog Snoopy was a rescue. Some people know that but some do not. He came to us as a skinny little foster dog who wouldn't even walk up the stairs, we had to carry him since he was so frightened. He has been with us for five years now, and we sure love him a lot. Here is an artsy photo I took of him that I just love.






5/365-My egg and tomato sammy.

I LOVE everything about this sandwich. Seriously. It is to die for. It starts with the world's best bread (well, only if you toast it) it comes from costco and its old fashioned breakfast bread or something like that. Anyway, I toast it up, add a half a slice of ham each, half a cheese slice, some egg whites done up with Epicure 3 onion, some fresh ripe tomatoes and some salt and pepper. It is so good. You need to try it. Oh, and yes, thats a *smidge* of light mayo on there.

Day 2 was an easy pick.

Some of you may know that I had an unwanted house guest (or guests) this winter. A couple of field mice decided they wanted to live in my pantry. Well...this led to me having a serious case of the heebee jeebies, and a lot of thrown out food and frustration. My loving husband and wonderful daddy decided to build me a shiny new pantry. I LOOOOOOOOOVE it. It is the sexiest darn pantry I have ever seen. It has rounded shelves to make great use of space and I can actually step into it to see what I have. THANKS to my special men...even my boys helped! VERY grateful :)

From Making Lemonade

I have wanted to get back into blogging for some time now. I used to do it all the time, but have found myself either lacking material, or motivation.

So, upon reflection of how I have been sort of miserable a lot lately, I decided I needed to focus on the things that are great in my life. The many wonderful things that I love and am so thankful for every single day.

I heard of Project 365 years ago....its basically a way of documenting your life with a photo, one day at a time. So, I am going to combine that with my "Gratitude" journal, thus the idea of "Gratitude 365"

Here is Day 1:





I am so thankful for my Keurig Coffee maker. Seriously. Its art. And isn't my mug just the cutest?! In fact, I love my whole coffee bar area. Those Sugar grinders....to die for. Yup. Awesome!

I have had thoughts and reflections of the past year and hopes and dreams for the next, swirling around in my head for days. I have experienced moments of true clarity when thinking about what I want to accomplish this next year, and honest recognition of the things I have not managed to square away this past year.

I had great hopes for real change this year, and as I reflect, I am not so sure I was overly successful. Although, I have such a feeling of overwhelming joy and excitement for 2010, that maybe I was far more successful than I give myself credit for.

I have felt for years that underneath my exterior and the person that I allow people to see is the real me. I have never really been able to put this into words, except maybe to say that I have spent my whole life hiding. Those who know me may laugh at this and not be able to reconcile the thought of the exuberant and passionate side of me as someone who hides, but the truth is those who know me the most, know that I spend the majority of my life controlled by fear.

I have spent some serious time thinking about why that is, what EXACTLY it is I am afraid of, and while I feel I am making some progress, I also know that I have a lot to learn about who I am, and why I am this way.

I know that I allow other people's thoughts about me, and my life, and my choices affect my decision making on a daily basis. I will purposely not pursue things I am interested in because I am afraid it will cause conflict in my life.

So, one of my new years resolutions, or whatever you would choose to call them, is to trust ME. To Believe in myself, to know that I am strong enough, smart enough, whatever, to make the decisions that are best for me. To stop hiding, to allow myself to shine despite how it may affect others around me.

I think the reality that in order for me to love myself, I have to be true to who I am is finally setting in. How can I possibly believe others when they tell me they love me, when I cannot say the same for myself. What kind of relationships can I really have with people if they do not really see ME.

2010 is my brand new start. I know that I often come out with these sentiments of grandure and cannot possibly measure up...but this time, I am not going to shove it all into a sentence like I will lose weight, or I will get my drivers license finally, or I will work on becoming more financially responsible, keep a cleaner home, be more organized, but this year, I will simply say, I will work on me, and those other things will fall into place if they are meant to.

I feel excited today. Hopeful for a fantastic new year.

for those, like me, who are barely up at 7 am, let alone listening to the radio ;)

http://www.cbc.ca/video/popup_audio.html?http://www.cbc.ca/mrl3/8752/sudbury/ondemand/audio/feature2.wma

if you can't hear it there, go here and scroll down to features on the side bar.

:)

As usual, my poor blog is abandoned for a time...

But yesterday was the kind of day that warranted me taking the time to post about it.
I don't know about you, but I am an avid movie/tv show watcher, and I am not always proud to admit the amount of time I spend absorbed in the wonderful stories and heroic antics of other people's manufactured false lives.

But in the movies, things always go a certain way. For the most part anyway, the typical and cherished formula of A+B=C leads to many wonderful feelings, and sappy stories that warm our hearts.

What happens however, when in real life, something right out of a movie happens and you can barely breathe from the shock that something so awesome and terrifying at the same time could happen right under your nose? What happens when you reach out for help and there is no one willing to step up, rush in and save the day? Would you take it upon yourself to be the hero, or would you shamefully walk away and do nothing and deem it "not your problem".

Yesterday, we were presented with a situation just like that. My whole family is together right now, for the first time since Christmas, and we were enjoying a beautiful sunny spring day. We heard a dog barking behind my parents house, in fact, my mother had mentioned it the day before that she thought maybe there was a dog in trouble back there. The rest of us brushed it off that it was probably another new yappy dog in the neighborhood. As the barking continued, we decided that my mom and sister and I would take a walk behind the house just to check it out. There is a huge cliff-face behind my parents house so we don't go back often, but it is beautiful for walking. So, off we went and were about to turn around to come home after not hearing anything else, when my mother spotted the dogs. Two of them. Stuck. On a cliff. For two days. In the pouring rain.

The site of those dogs is not something I will forget in my life time. I am an animal lover, and so my heart absolutely broke knowing they were stuck and couldn't get down. This was not a small cliff, this was certainly not going to be an easy situation to fix. To give you an idea, here is a photo of the dogs on the cliff, I have highlighted them.



As far as we could tell, the second dog had followed the first when it got injured falling part way down the cliff, and couldn't reach the other dog. So, The next forty minutes consisted of calling all the various avenues (police, vet, animal control) NONE of which offered any kind of assistance. So, our options were, either turn a blind eye and let these dogs die, or attempt to save these poor dogs ourselves.

With the help of the owners of the property and another neighbour these ordinary people became extraordinary heroes. And thankfully, despite the many things stacked against us (no help, a shaky rockface, very basic equipment (ya, we had a rope), and two tired and very afraid dogs) we found our happy movie ending. My husband was the one who climbed up the cliff to save them, and though I was incredibley afraid for him (did I ever mention he fell off a 50 foot cliff when he was a kid) I was so very proud of him for his big heart and willingness to not accept that nothing could be done. It was not easy by any means, and could have ended much differently, but the teamwork of all involved brought the dogs safely to the ground. It was nothing short of a miracle.

I couldn't believe that these institutions that are supposed to be in place to make sure that we are safe and cared for all failed us yesterday. I understand that these were just dogs, but they still deserve the common courtesy of our love and care. If we cannot help the helpless what is the point? Without having seen it yourself, there is no way to know just how heartbreaking and hopeless this scene was, and though pictures will never do it justice. here is a storyboard I did up with pictures of the rescue.

I was trying to make my own scrap booking paper for fun, and it ended up like this. More an easter screensaver I guess?? Anyway, I like it :)

The cross I got from a free stock photo site.

I call it Amazing Grace.

I know it has been a really long time since my fingers have graced the keys in order to share with you the goings on of my life.

My little man wasn't feelin so great. Down, and sniffly, and he was sitting there talkin with his nanook. So I snapped this.

You know, as part of this trying to figure out my camera business, I have been using my sons as subjects a lot. I snapped this pic of Drew playing the guitar (or trying to anyway) and while technically it is a terrible picture, I absolutely love it. It is one where I see a glimpse into the man that he will be one day soon. Like the blink of an eye perhaps?

Well...Christmas was fantastic.

After six years in Manitoba without my family around (luckily for a couple we were fortunate enough to have Dave's parents with us) we had the chance to spend the holidays with my parents and my sister.

As is typical, us girls sure had some great laughs. We overdid the stockings to a huge degree which led to some almost hysteric laughter at 1:30 in the morning on Christmas day as we saw the fruits of our shopping...(We all decided to get "a couple things" for each stocking) I really wish I had a picture but its on my mom's camera, but you can bet I will post it here when I get my hands on it.

Mom, Lisa and I went to see "4 Christmas's" as a celebration of the Holidays and my birthday and it was a really fun Holiday movie. It is so nice to be able to enjoy stuff like that with them. Many times throughout the Christmas season I closed my eyes and said Thank you for the opportunity to be together.

Although, all my gushing wouldn't be accurate if I didn't mention that my first holidays in quite some time without my friends was also very noticeable. I hope my Manitoban friends know that they are missed always...

I received lots of fantastic gifts this year, but of course the one that made me cry was the camera my sister and husband got for me. My sister gave me a card encouraging me to follow my new passions...I got a Nikon D60, and while I am thoroughly enjoying playing with it, I must say I am quickly humbled. Sure made me appreciate the talents of my friend and mentor Tasha who is an incredibly gifted photographer. Apparently retouching photos is much easier than taking them! But, all joking aside, I am very excited to learn and spend more time than I really should reading up about photography online. I have already started a "piggy bank" to save up for a new lens (it is a fantastic digital counting one from my mom for Christmas, the readout says I have 6.35 saved up already!! WOOOHHHOOO...hehehe)

Other gifts that I totally love are my Cuisinart griddle/grill and mandolin. (that's two separate things) Helps me with my other passion- cooking!

My boys both got me beautiful gifts, a crystal angel with a beautiful poem about mothers from Drew, and a gorgeous bag from Wesley. He has some great taste!!

I am hoping to start a new blog this year. I have been hemming and hawing, because I have been with blogger forever and I would hate to lose it, but I kind of want something a bit more customizable. I want to post photos as I am learning, and be more involved in writing and sharing recipes etc. So we will see!

So, on the dawn of 2009 I am feeling better than I have in a while. I have a job I love, living close to family, a new hobby, drew is now old enough to babysit...Aaaahhhh, so many possibilities!

To top off all the ooey goeey awesomeness, Michelle is coming for a visit in Feb, and I am just so excited to see her!

Anyway, here are a few shots from over the holidays. The boys games for there DS, which was pretty much there favorite gift, although, they are pretty excited about the hockey sticks from papa too :) Anyway, if you click on the pics it will lead to my flickr site and there will be more there as well. Comments are always welcomed :)

Much love to all of you for 2009. I think its gonna be a great one!!

Christmas post to follow after I get myself a cup of coffee...

LOL.



If you click on it, you can view it bigger I think...

It was my birthday yesterday. I turned 32. The first part of the day I sort of sat around and hrrumphed about all the things I didn't do last year - but then you know what I started to think about all I HAD done, and it became a very nice reflection.

I spent half last year in Manitoba, continuing to grow very important friendships, work at a job I loved, build up a huge stockpile of "coupon deals" just in time to give it all away, and most of all, I spent some time alone with my kids when we were preparing for a move...That was a biggie for me. It wasn't easy but I got through it "with a little help from my friends"

Our family moved back "home" to Northern Ontario. I have since developed some new habits that I can say are a vast improvement from my time in Manitoba. I have made some new friends and found a new church home. My boys are happily adjusted and best of all, I have mom and dad around the corner so to speak!

I also started a new job, which I love, that has enabled me to tap into a peice of myself I didn't really know existed. Those of you who have known me awhile tend to know that I am a certain kind of personality. I tend to latch onto an idea and get all excited and throw myself into it with everything I have and love it for about a month. Then I get bored and throw in the towel. I have always been this way, until....well, now I guess! It is so exciting to me to find something that I feel passionate about. (I do photo retouching in case people are thinking what the heck is she yammering on about) It isn't necessarily the retouching that I love so much, but the idea of taking something and making it "extra special". I love learning more about it, and trying different techniques and fun processing of photos. I am sure that sometime in the future I would like to take a Photography course and start heading down that path too. It makes me smile every single day...I also get to talk almost daily to a great friend that I miss so much as she is my boss, and someone I admire so much for her talent and dedication.

So, in essence, new job, new house, new city, new province, new friends, new church....etc. Not bad for a year ;)

I think that when I look at my 32nd year there is one thing I want to improve. I always make this big long list for myself and never manage it. So, this year, I want to improve just this one thing...

I want to be less lazy. Now, I know that there are SO many things under that heading but basically I want to be able to go to bed and say to myself "I was less lazy today!" Simple to many, but something I always struggle with.

for example:
-I was less lazy when I decided to make a healthy meal for the family instead of going out.
-I was less lazy when I stopped procrastinating and got all my work done quickly (ahem, boss lady, you need to pretend you didn't read that)
-I was less lazy when I made sure I spent 30 minutes in the sun.
-I was less lazy when I walked on the treadmill instead of eating chips with my shows last night

You get the idea. So that is the goal for my 32nd year. I have a great feeling that its going to be a wonderful one.

My BFF is coming to visit in February and I am sooooo excited! Look out world, Julie and Michelle are on the loose!

Well, I have rambled enough for today!

Merry Christmas Everyone!